One for the Queen/Bowie fans

Hey baby wake up from your asleep

We have arrived onto the future

And the whole world is become….

Elektronik, Supersonik, Supersonik …

Why should I have to be so lucky?

Over a year ago a book was published that I wanted to buy. I pre-ordered it in Eason’s. After a few weeks, when it didn’t look like it was going to arrive, I told them to cancel it.

It was a music-related book, so I went directly from Eason’s to HMV, and I ordered it there. They needed a €10 deposit. I gave it to them. I didn’t hear from them for ages, so one day I called in. I’d lost my receipt by this stage, but the assistant manager was very helpful. He gave me his name, and he said to ask for him in relation to any further queries I had. He was going to look after it. -Brilliant! I had hope. I still didn’t have a book, but I had hope.

Then Christmas happened. I went back to the shop to find out the old assistant manager was gone, and the book hadn’t arrived either. I waited for a bit. Next time I called in and asked about it, the robot behind the counter couldn’t find any information about anything, and she was the most senior member of staff available. Holy Fuck! My elusive book was slipping further away with every attempt. I gave up. Wrong, I know, but I was under a bit of pressure at the time.

Then, yesterday, during a drunken and quite stoned stroll around the same branch of Eason’s that I originally ordered the book in, I found it. There, sitting on the shelf, 15 months after it’s release. And they never even told me.

Fuck HMV. They can keep my €10. They should frame it, because they’ll never see another one from my pocket again. They’ll be dead in 3 years anyway.

Fuck Eason’s too. I won’t pass sentence on them yet, but mark my words, their days are numbered. I’m watching them.

*footnote

Yes, I know I should’ve ordered it on-line. I got caught up in the chain of events that occurred. I’ve learnt my lesson.

New Firefox (ver. 3.5)

There’s a New Version of Firefox out, and it’s very fast.

Very, very fast.

Simply play ‘Spot The Nipple’ here to try your luck at winning a trip to the download page. You’ll probably win.

(Not for you, Mac-User! Velly solly! Go on, away with ye! – Go home and play a game of…oh, I dunno, Photoshop or something…)

Pirate Bay RIP

I’ve been waiting all day for someone to reveal this as a hoax, but the hours are slipping by and it hasn’t happened yet.

The Pirate Bay Sold To Software Company,-Goes Legal

Words fail me.

So I made this picture that you can click for the latest news;Sure who knows, it could be a good move.

It could, couldn’t it?

UPDATE: There’s an interview with Peter Sunde, spokesman for The Pirate Bay HERE. It’s a bit long-winded, and the only funny bit is when the interviewer says that 60 million Swedish Crowns was about equal to 7.8 US Dollars. That’s not all that funny, is it? It’s right at the beginning too, so there’s nothing really to look forward to. I managed to stay awake for all of it, so I’ll give you the gist of it, or, as I like to call them, ‘The 3 Things I Remember’; They did it because they see it as a way of ‘evolving’ after 3yrs of stagnancy. Nobody makes any money from the deal. The new owners understand that they must keep the site as it is to a certain extent, or risk losing it’s biggest asset; the user-base.

Maybe it’s not so bad after all.

I need to get digital

I’ve been watching a bit of the women’s Wimbledon.  I’m not a huge fan and I couldn’t give you a single name of a player without the use of Google.  I kind of lost interest after Kornicova died of chronic moleitis at the hands of Ricky Inglesias.

But I’ve been watching the highlights whenever they’re on.

I love the women’s games.  They were short skirts, sports bras that aren’t padded and they grunt like shemale pornstars.

The urge to have a sneaky self session whenever it’s on is ever hard to resist.

Last night I was so close to completion when the fuzzy and blinking screen suddenly became crystal clear.  The clearest it’s ever been and I noticed I was watching the men’s game.

To be fair, I couldn’t exactly stop what I was doing.

But I need to get digital or satellite.  Anyone know of a good free to air system or provider?

I don’t think my self esteem or sexuality can take anymore accidental gay wanking.

Conspiracy theory

This is freakishly true, i noticed the same phenomenon IN IRELAND!!!

Life

As Talk Talk once sang, ‘Life’s what you make it’

You could choose to sit around drinking cups of tea all day, or you could decide that you want to leave your mark on society by getting up off your arse and seizing the moment. Each and every one of us has the potential of greatness within, yet it seems that only a handful are prepared to put in the effort to rise above the mundane and mediocre.

-Only you know where your true vocation lies.

-Only you know the hidden talents you possess.

-Only you can take complete control of your destiny.

So rise up, stand tall and be counted. Tell yourself, ‘Yes! -I can do it!’

And seeing as how you’re up on your feet now, stick the kettle on and make us a cuppa tea, will ya?

Old People in Sex Shock Horror!!!

I remember in my adolescence when I first became interested in girls, that the very idea of my parents or anyone else their age having sex seemed totally absurd. How could they? They were old. Old people didn’t have sex.

Fast forward to the present, and I’m actually older than they were then. Am I having sex? Fuckin’ right I am, and I reckon me and the girlfriend could put any two teenagers to shame with the stuff we get up to.

There’s a liberation that comes with being older, and also I suppose for those lucky enough to find themselves in a long-term relationship. It comes from the honesty that prevails. You’re no longer trying to be the person that you believe your partner wants you to be, you’re being yourself. You’re not projecting idealised fantasies on your partner either, because you’ve accepted them as who they are. You know each other, and independent of whether you still love one another or not, you know what works.

But, and it’s a big but, if you’re lucky enough to find yourself in a long-term relationship, and still you’re lucky enough to hold onto a love for each other after all those years, there’s a magic like you wouldn’t believe in store for you. Sex becomes something other-worldly. You’re no longer that spotty non-entity, struggling with insecurities, hoping for approval, but disbelieving of it when it arrives. You become ALL MEN, all fuckin’ men,  and the person you’re lucky enough to be shagging just happens to be ALL WOMEN. If your house was struck by lightening while you were mid-ride, you’d accept it as part of the plan and carry on regardless. It wouldn’t seem like it was worth noting. For a few short moments you can’t hear anything, you can’t see anything, you can’t smell anything, you don’t even know who you are. You know nothing, except that you’re in Heaven.

You’re older and wiser now. You know that the sensible thing to do is to prolong this ecstacy… You ease up, take it slow for a bit, bite your lip and roll your eyes.

You don’t ejaculate. She doesn’t have an orgasm. It’s nothing like that at all. Eventually, when you can’t stand it anymore, you fuckin’ EXPLODE together!! You go beyond your ’self’, into another realm…beyond what you’ve ever known before…You are totally fuckin’ INVINCIBLE, and even though that makes you think of He-Man, it’s OK…you can handle it…

…then, just as you’re getting into your stride, one of the kids walks in with a self-made greeting card in their hand, and tells you to stop fighting with Mammy.

Father’s Day me hole!

MEP for Southern Ireland – Sean Kelly

No need for comment really…

Sexy boy

Street Performance World Championship

I went down to the street performance world championship last saturday in cork .

Anyone who was there, i was the guy who got dragged out of the crowd and made to dress up like a fairy by that accursed frenchman.

Bastard.

juggler

les jeux

fitzgeralds park

banner

After that we popped down to the english market for some tea and cake and to get some stuff for dinner.

It’s a pretty cool place, any visitors to cork should have a look.

english market

And this is the plan for this weekend . . . .

summer fest

Mmmmm, for two reasons….